So Hard

“It’s so hard when it doesn’t come easy…” (Dixie Chicks, Day 3)

So, I have to ask, though I am not guaranteed a response, is it normal when going from fast food to health food to want to eat every two to three hours?  I’ve cracked.  I am now eating a piece of organic whole grain toast.  I had organic raisin bread and yogurt for breakfast.  What will lunch bring?  Relief? I doubt it.

I remember, about four years ago, my oldest friend who was human (most long standing friendships involve horses) was getting married, I went up to Lake Wenatchee for the bachelorette party.  The party itself was pretty tame, if a bit beyond my limited budget.  I spare the reader all of those details.  I could go on for ages, but that is missing the point.  The point was that I had never lived with so many people my own age.  The concept of sharing a bathroom was totally foreign, as was preppy, well, preppiness.  I’ll admit, freely, that I was not the most popular girl in school.  I had friends, sort of, and I was okay with that.  The popular crowds let me sit with them, especially if they wanted something, but I was never going to be the Homecoming Queen.  Ach, I’m off topic again.  So many issues, so little time.

The point, stick to the point.  So here it is.  During that weekend trip up to a cabin on the lake, there was predominantly only healthy food available.  Low fat dressings, spaghetti that seemed to largely just be a jar of tomato sauce, and no great dessert.  Heck, I don’t even remember dessert.  Breakfast was a single low fat yogurt.  Lunch?  More salad with low fat dressing.  As soon as I got home, I went straight out to a McDonalds and ate a Big Mac.  I could literally feel my deprived stomach happily replenishing any lost fat for that weekend.  I didn’t eat a Big Mac again for a month, but I needed it then, and I wouldn’t say no to one now.

My hope is that the longer I endure, the less I will crave.  Isn’t that how cold turkey works?  But I must be careful.  I must stay strong.  I must drive by the McDonalds on my way to work.  Okay, who am I fooling.  I’m broke.  That money goes to horse food, literally, so I’ll settle for the rabbit food, figuratively, that I have here.  After all, just how bad could this be?

BlytheLea L.E.